tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74943437212363989372024-02-19T05:30:26.721-08:0052 Weeks of NowEricahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-50807422565806267922013-12-29T01:47:00.000-08:002013-12-29T01:47:26.677-08:00A Mindful Year, A More Mindful Life?My 52 week challenge has come to an end. The final challenge now behind me, I've taken some time to think about where I've come from, what I've 'seen' and where I've landed. <br />
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Has a year of living more mindfully changed me? Am I 'better' at being mindful than I was this time last year? Do I like myself more? Do other people? These questions are kind of big ... I'm not sure I can do them justice with a good answer. Even so, I'll do my best.<br />
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Yes, I think I am changed, but maybe only subtly.<br />
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Yes, I am 'better' at being mindful, but I'm certainly not at a place where my every moment is mindful (or even the majority of them).<br />
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I like myself more ... sometimes.<br />
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Other people? I have no idea - though I did ask my husband if he'd noticed a difference in me. He declared that he couldn't really tell. He is, after all, with me so often it's hard to get the 'distance' to see change. But then he paused for a moment and said: "actually, I haven't gotten in trouble the last few months - even when I probably deserved it". This, to me at least, was significant. Maybe I am slower to snap now than I was. Maybe I give myself a chance to consider before I respond. Maybe, just maybe, I have changed.<br />
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Regardless of the answers to these questions, I know one thing for sure: my life feels better when it's lived in the moment. Even if it's not every moment, knowing that I'm capable of turning off the distractions (whether internal or external) is huge. I still have a way to go, though. As I type, I have no fewer than five internet tabs open (though I'm not flicking between them the way I once would); the television is on, though it's not my focus. I just stopped mid-post to take a phone call from my sister.<br />
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There are times when I choose to be less than 100 per cent mindful and there are times when I give what I'm doing my all.<br />
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But I always have a choice.<br />
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My 52 week challenge may be over, but my mindfulness quest is far from complete. The next year will no doubt be full of just as many challenges as this year has held, if not more. I have another baby on the way, a new blog to launch,a yoga business to continue running, a Masters degree to complete. My aim is to live every day of my life as mindfully as possible. Mindfulness has become like a 'reset' switch for me - returning me to a level field, giving me perspective, giving me space to be however I am in the moment. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing the past 52 weeks with me. I hope you'll come on over to my new blog and visit me there. Details coming very soon! <br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-44522100426319412382013-12-29T01:03:00.001-08:002013-12-29T01:03:19.036-08:00Week 52 Update: Christmas, Oh Christmas.Christmas week has been and gone. What a whirlwind.<br />
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My aim this week was to experience Christmas more mindfully than I have in recent years - focusing on being present rather than worrying about what things <i>might</i> be like. I did okay. I saw, regularly, my normal dialogue about Christmas bubbling up: too expensive, too commercial, too busy, too many expectations, too stressful. I saw them, I faced them, and I did my best to drop them and be in the moment instead.<br />
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It worked, at least a little. I probably felt the most relaxed this Christmas that I have in a long time (and that was with a grand total of about two hours sleep the night before). While my eye did wander towards the clock and my mind did remind me of the places I needed to be, the people I needed to see, I was also able to sit back, enjoy the food and company, and forget about what <i>might</i> be.<br />
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Even so, I won't pretend I got it perfect. After all, perfect isn't my aim (nor is it realistic!). But, like I've said many times, being mindful has a lot to do with simply making the effort and remembering to do it. I remembered enough to make my Christmas experience far more enjoyable. I hope yours was, too.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-75217720149885331352013-12-22T13:41:00.000-08:002013-12-22T13:41:54.936-08:00Week 52: A Mindful Christmas and The (Non)End Of A Journey.Week 52. Seriously? Week 52 already?<br />
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I'm almost hesitant to write this post. Can I really be at the end of my 52 week challenge to live more mindfully? I have so much more to explore and learn, so much more to see.<br />
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Heading into this challenge I always knew the first 52 weeks would only be the start. After all, living mindfully isn't something you suddenly 'get' and do automatically. It's something that takes continued and continuous effort. It's something I'll be working with and on for the rest of my life.<br />
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Fifty-two weeks have set me off well, though. I have 52 challenges under my belt - plenty to return to, plenty to explore again and again.<br />
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Still time for one more challenge though, and given it's Christmas this week, I know just the thing.<br />
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In years past, I'll admit to being quite the Scrooge. I loved Christmas growing up - it was simple, full of family tradition, love and food.<br />
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Then I grew up, the magic faded, family life got complicated and Christmas became busy, expensive and stressful.<br />
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Christmas day itself became something I had to survive, not something I looked forward to.<br />
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Ugh, I dislike that sentence a lot. When did I turn into this grinch? Where did my Christmas spirit go?<br />
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I think the answer to that is this: I started to focus on the projections in my mind, rather than the unknown reality ahead of me.<br />
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With so much to do, so much money to spend, so many people to see and please, my focus landed squarely on thoughts like these: "Oh, I don't know why I bother, they never like my gifts anyway", "It's going to be so rushed, it's no fun", "I'm already exhausted and it hasn't even started ... this is going to be hard".<br />
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Instead, couldn't I have gone into it the way I like to step onto my yoga mat? Which way is that, you ask? With beginner's eyes. I like to step onto my mat as though I've never stepped onto it before: each session, each pose being experienced as though for the first time. No expectations. Could I do the same for Christmas?<br />
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I think so. At least, I'm going to try. Already this year I feel my Christmas spirit returning. I'm positive it has a lot to do with my little boy who loves the excitement he can feel building. But it's more than that - I think my year of more mindful living has a lot to do with it, too. I'm in a place now where I feel like I can drop those expectations a little, where I can settle into 'being' rather than sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself. While I still think Christmas is expensive and busy (two things I don't love), I can also see beyond that (though surely there's a way to simplify? Maybe I can explore that next year ...).<br />
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As I head into Christmas week, I'm going to try to do it mindfully. As I plan, bake, eat, interact, give and receive, I'll do my darndest to be there in the moment, not in some story I've woven in my mind. I encourage you to do the same! Christmas, joyful as it can be, can also be a source of stress and distress for people ... Can mindfulness take the edge off that? I think so; I hope so. It's certainly worth a try.<br />
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I'll be back at the end of the week to report on week 52. In the meantime, I wish you all a wonderful Christmas xEricahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-6089281274922147922013-12-21T18:35:00.000-08:002013-12-21T18:35:38.419-08:00Week 51 Update: Learning Something New Can Be Hard To Do.What was I thinking? Learn something new ... ok, ok, seems reasonable enough. But maybe I should have gone with pottery after all. Or learning French. Building a website - who thought that was a good idea?<br />
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My week of 'learning something new' got off to a mindfully-challenged start. Instead of finding myself absorbed in what I was doing, I was threatening to throw my laptop at the wall. I was anxious, frustrated, angry ... in short, I felt utterly incompetent and I didn't like that one bit.<br />
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I was surprised by how much this challenge impacted me. I mean, it's a website - hardly earth-shattering, not terriblly important in the grand scheme of things. People build them all the time. I wasn't even building from scratch, so what was the problem?<br />
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I learned a bit about myself through the week, though, not all of it very pretty. I learned that I like to be good at what I do (don't we all) and that I have a tendency to be rather harsh on myself when I'm not as good as I think I should be. Then, towards the end of the week I learned this: everything changes, nothing stays the same. Even website building.<br />
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For days I struggled, cursed and moaned as I took whatever chunks of time I could to nut my way through this project. I worked hard, lost my work, got angry. Repeat. Then something clicked. I had it! (well, not all of it, but part of it). Suddenly I popped out of the dark, musty cave of a place I was in and into the sunshine where everything seemed much clearer. I had it! I wasn't so silly after all! An old(ish) dog can learn new tricks! Hooray!<br />
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Finally, I was absorbing myself in my project in a good way (gone was the urge to hurl the laptop). Mindfulness came in bursts and waves. My website is on the way. I still have little idea of what I'm doing, but I've found the breadcrumbs that lead the way. I'm learning, I'm doing, I'm actually having a bit of fun.<br />
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Learning something new can be really hard to do. But it can also be fun and totally worth it. Just be prepared for the dark cave bit at the beginning! <br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-41598880168294321612013-12-15T13:18:00.000-08:002013-12-15T13:18:09.342-08:00Week 51: Learning Something NewRock climbing, anyone? How about white water rafting, knitting, painting, gardening or applique?<br />
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Learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby or taking a class - these are well-accepted ways of experiencing mindfulness.<br />
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Why? Well, maybe it's a little bit easier to be mindful when you're doing something new and unfamiliar - you have to give it so much attention that you don't tend to operate on auto-pilot the way you might in other scenarios.<br />
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When I thought about setting myself this 'Do Something New' challenge quite a few weeks ago, I considered how nice it would be to try my hand at pottery or crochet - something well outside my comfort zone; something lovely and creative. Instead, it's going to be website building. Yep - building a website (for my new blogging venture in 2014 - The (Non)Sense Of It!). Definitely new, definitely challenging, definitely outside my comfort zone. <br />
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Will it help me be more mindful? Or will it drive me up the wall with frustration as I nut my way through it? Time will tell ... Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-85525605538147367102013-12-13T17:30:00.002-08:002013-12-13T17:30:24.116-08:00Week 50 Update: Reminders Help ... So Do Other People.I stuck mindfulness reminders up throughout the house this week. Little notes imploring me to 'Be Here, Now'; prompts to make me consider 'Where's Your Head At?'; subtle suggestions of 'Now, Now, Now'.<br />
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My theory was that these visual cues would help keep me on track on a general level, being more mindful as I moved throughout my day. They worked, at least as much as they could. I was reminded in the kitchen to be present, reminded in the bathroom as I brushed my teeth. As I played with my son, these words looked down on us, urging us to be in the moment. <br />
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Then there was this one day, when everything seemed hard. I was feeling overwhelmed, tired, uncomfortable. I was letting myself get away from myself.<br />
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My little mindfulness reminders mocked me. I was getting carried away.<br />
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A phone call with my husband pulled me back a little closer to reality, reminded me that everything was temporary.<br />
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My lesson here? That even with the best intentions, even when we try, sometimes our minds still wreak havoc on us. Sometimes we need the gentle (or not so gentle) words of perspective from another person. Sometimes we have to accept that we aren't or won't be present all of the time... We have to be kind with ourselves, gently easing back into the moment, recognising that we haven't failed - we're just learning.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-58523525651350116002013-12-08T17:52:00.001-08:002013-12-08T17:52:11.899-08:00Week 50: Trying to Remember.Sometimes, the hardest thing about being mindful is simply remembering to do it. I mean, there are so many things to think about, do, be, that you'd be forgiven for forgetting about mindfulness altogether. Kind of like the way you forget the milk at the shops or the washing on the line. <br />
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I'll admit that over the past 50 weeks, I have forgotten about my weekly challenges here and there. Some have been easier to remember than others. Which brings me to this week's challenge ...<br />
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This week, I'm cracking out the post-it notes and the thick markers. I'm going to give myself some visual reminders about being mindful. I'll stick them up around the house (given that's where I spend 90% of my time) where I can see them as I go about my day. They will be simple visual cues to remind me to be here, now.<br />
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My hope is that these little memos will help me to be present in what I'm doing (as much as possible) - whether it be playing with my son, doing the dishes, drinking a cuppa or having a shower.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-5405425817771686612013-12-07T19:20:00.002-08:002013-12-07T19:20:55.763-08:00Week 49 Update: Shoulders Have No Place By Your Earlobes. I am not alone in mindlessly holding tension in my body. Wearing shoulders as earrings, grinding teeth, furrowing brows, clenching fists ... we do it without realising. We do it all the time. It doesn't feel good, though, does it?<br />
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This week I set out to notice and soften any time I found myself holding tension where it didn't need to be. Simple, really, but not easy. To stop and notice requires a pause - something that we don't love to do in this busy world of ours. But it only takes a moment - a moment to say "look there at my teeth grinding/shoulders hunching/fists clenching" and then soften. I did this far too many times throughout the week to count - but seven days later, my jaw feels 'easier' than it did, I'm far more tuned into the tension when it arises, and I've appreciated those regular moments to check in and ask myself "how are you, Erica?"<br />
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How often do you stop to ask yourself that question? To really notice how you're doing? The tension-holding gives us a clue, as does our ability to soften. It's worth the moment(s) it takes to pause. Very worth it, indeed. Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-84514467200596659552013-12-01T12:47:00.001-08:002013-12-01T12:47:50.705-08:00Week 49: Shoulders Are Not Earrings.How often do you find your shoulders hanging around somewhere near your earlobes? If you're like many people I know, you'll find them that way a lot. As a yoga teacher I repeat the phrase 'soften your shoulders' umpteen times a week. I often pair this up with a gentle hand on the offending shoulders and I can immediately see tension drain from the upper body.<br />
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Tight, tense shoulders are hardly unusual. We tend to live with it and claim "I can't help it!" when it's brought to our attention. But what if we checked in - time and time again - and softened them every time we noticed them higher than they should be?<br />
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For years and years I was a shoulder-tension-holder. These days I seem to have a firmer stance with them and they behave a good lot of the time. Now, though, I find the tension sitting in my jaw or that space between my eyes.<br />
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It's the same thing and requires the same treatment - repeated 'checking in' and softening. It might mean checking in tens or even hundreds of times per day ... but it's well worth it. Not only does it feel better not to hold this tension so frequently, it's also a perfect opportunity to assess how you are in any given moment. As you check in with your shoulders/jaw/eyebrows/hips/fists (whatever is your tension storage house), it's a chance to make an assessment on a greater scale. Tight? What can you let go of? Relaxed? Awesome - do more of that.<br />
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So, this week it's all about checking in on the tension. Check, soften, repeat. Lots of little mindful moments.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-8920187752790556152013-11-30T00:43:00.000-08:002013-11-30T00:43:04.509-08:00Week 48 Update: Doing Less Can Be More.I set out to do less this week; to cut my 'to do list' short; to put some tasks on the 'nah, not right now pile'. I did a pretty good job! Each day I made a conscious decision to choose not to do something that 'needed' doing. Often it was something like mopping or vacuuming - things that <i>do</i> need to be done at some point but have little urgency.<br />
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The biggest thing I noticed? That by giving myself permission to do less, I felt far less pressure to do and achieve. I chose where to put my energy more carefully and this meant that I didn't feel completely run off my feet every day.<br />
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The downside? Sometimes it's really hard to do less - I mean, dirty floors and bathrooms do their best to command your attention. And, let's face it, these things <i>do</i> need to be done at some point ... I've never seen such chores spontaneously complete themselves. For those working in a professional environment, deadlines don't tend to lend themselves to 'less'. And parents certainly can't choose not to do vital child-rearing tasks.<br />
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Still, I think there's always a bit of 'to do list fat' that can be trimmed, even if only temporarily. Plus, we can ask for help. In any case, doing less gave me more - more time, more space, more clarity and more choice. Less definitely felt like more this week. And more mindful.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-21572276413984877332013-11-24T01:12:00.003-08:002013-11-24T01:12:31.413-08:00Week 48: Just Do ... Less.How many things do you have on your to-do list for the day? What if you took that list and just made it shorter? How would that impact your day?<br />
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This afternoon, my husband took a photo of me ... having a little rest on top of the pile of clean washing I was 'meant' to be folding. The photo is a telling one. Simply - I'm tired! I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant with my second child and it's certainly taking it out of me. I have days when I'm full of energy and days when I need someone to prop up my eyelids. Normal - absolutely.<br />
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I'm just like everyone else - I wake up in the morning very conscious of all the things I have to do. The list always seems long - mothering, housework, yoga 'work', writing, socialising, sorting, organising, preparing, cooking ... And despite the fact that I'm far from a clean-freak or a perfectionist, there is NO shortage of things to do.<br />
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But how important are all of those things, really? What if I just decided to do <i>less</i>?<br />
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Hmm ... <i>less</i>? We're a society that focuses on <i>more </i>... less is a vaguely foreign concept, isn't it? <i><b>Less</b></i> ... I like the way it sounds.<br />
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This week I'm going to do less. That to do list is going to be shortened every day. Maybe one non-vital task comes off the list, maybe 10. The important thing is the lack of push and pressure, the focus instead on creating more ease by doing less.<br />
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If I do less, will those things I do do be done more mindfully? At a guess - yes. Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-51244469416586305802013-11-24T00:56:00.001-08:002013-11-24T00:56:28.370-08:00Week 47 Update: Pour, Stir, Mix, Bake.A week of mindful cooking. Focusing not on the end result of the cooking process but on the process itself.<br />
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Now, I love to cook. But sometimes, it's all too much - another day, another bunch of meals and snacks to cook/prepare. Really? Can't we just have pizza?<br />
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This week's challenge gave me a chance to step back from the meal/snack/drink and instead be present with the measuring, chopping, pouring, mixing, stirring, baking ... If I'm honest (which I am), I didn't always remember the challenge I'd set for myself and so I often found myself distracted while I prepared our meals. But on those occasions when I did remember, what a difference it made. It never ceases to amaze me how the way we think about what we're doing impacts on our expereince of the the situation so much. If I'm focused on how annoying it is to have to be in the kitchen again then I feel frustrated, tense, overwhelmed. If, instead, I focus on the process, forgetting for a while what comes next, then it's just the moment - no result.<br />
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I had a couple of baking fails this week - something no self-confessed baking lover enjoys. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself reasonably unaffected by these less-than-perfect outcomes. Perhaps my mindful approach in the kitchen offered me a new perspective on perceived failure ... Yes, in fact, I'm sure it did. Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-19382828194357535732013-11-17T17:30:00.003-08:002013-11-17T17:30:48.996-08:00Week 47: The Mindful CookYou know those days when it seems like such a chore to put a meal on the table? Those evenings when you sit and think "I could just as easily eat toast tonight ... or pizza". It can get tiring feeding yourself, not to mention your family. I mean three meals a day - plus snacks?! That's asking for a bit, isn't it?<br />
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I love to cook and bake - probably because I also love to eat. Yet, as I walk into the kitchen for the umpteenth time I often think "Again?!" When you feel like this, cooking can become something to simply get through. There's little pleasure in it - it just needs to be done so the food can be consumed. Not very rewarding, really ... especially since that food will be gobbled up (or thrown on the floor) far too quickly.<br />
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What about mindful cooking? Cooking for the sake of cooking? That doesn't mean taking on more cooking to do it mindfully - but simply using those inevitable opportunities to do it in a way that values the process, not just the outcome.<br />
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I hope that by being more mindful with my cooking this week, I'll find myself shifting my focus from what will end up on the table at the end (and how quickly it will disappear), to the process itself. Because there's lots of joy to be found in cooking (and baking!). And if there's bowl licking involved, well, that's a bonus! Might be a cook week to bake a chocolate cake ;)Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-88612143718563370522013-11-17T17:19:00.002-08:002013-11-17T17:19:48.351-08:00Week 46 Update: Where are You Values?A search last week for my values ... taking the chance to question not only <i>what</i> they are but how they translate into the way I live my life - the things I do and say, how I react and behave. I thought working out my values would be easy enough, but, like all of the challenges I've faced over the past 46 weeks, it came with its hurdles.<br />
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At one point during the week I Googled 'list of values' and perused a few of the results. As I scanned these lists, a few values jumped out at me: Compassion, Love, Mindfulness, Integrity, Unity. These seem as though they 'fit' and are an excellent guide to how I want to live (though maybe they don't <i>always</i> mirror how I actually live).<br />
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One of my main concerns heading into last week's challenge was my ongoing struggle with social media and how to control what can at times seem like an addiction. This week I realised that addiction or otherwise, this social media habit of mine serves a very valuable purpose. As a mum at home with my son, I actually need that outlet to connect with people, ideas and the like. What I can also do, though, is ask myself a simple question when the urge to 'check in' strikes: 'would looking at Facebook/Email right now interfere with my ability to act with compassion, love, mindfulness, integrity and unity?' If the answer is yes, hopefully I put the phone down. If the answer is no - well, check in I will!<br />
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Let's be honest - one week of this is just skimming the surface. But I like where it's headed ...<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-74080600614166053862013-11-10T18:19:00.001-08:002013-11-10T18:19:25.152-08:00Week 46: Values and the Search for Answers.As I venture into week 46 of my 52 week mindfulness challenge, I find myself questioning a few things. A conversation with a beautiful friend last night got me to thinking about how my values impact what I do, how I react, what I prioritise and how I see my own thoughts and actions.<br />
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I'm trying to think of a good way to describe what I'm thinking, but struggling. Maybe an example will help!<br />
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Over the year, one of the things I've been trying (and struggling) to get a handle on is my apparent addiction to social media. I check into Facebook and emails a lot. Partly because I like to connect with my friends, partly because I like to find new recipes and ideas, and partly because I just feel like I <i>have</i> to (very good sign of an addiction there).<br />
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I know this habit of mine is worse since becoming a mum, but I don't know if this behaviour is being used to fill the relative void of adult interaction in my life (hard to believe when I actually have a lot of contact with adults every day!), to distract me from whatever fears I have of not being a good enough mum, or something else entirely.<br />
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And I don't think the checking, reading and interacting is a bad thing. Not at all. I think it's good for me ... at least if I use it wisely. The thing that still bothers me is the frequency of my checking, the apparently uncontrollable urge that this takes, and the fact that my son already (at 19 months old) knows that mummy's phone is always nearby. I don't want him to grow up thinking that checking into social media umpteen times a day is normal (even if it is!). I want to foster mindfulness in him as he learns and grows, so maybe I could be setting a better example.<br />
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This is where the values stuff comes in. I'm starting to feel as though my behaviour simply doesn't match my values, which is maybe why I feel so uncomfortable about the whole thing (and why I struggle to find the right words to describe it).<br />
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Where am I going with all this? Well, this week I want to spend some time thinking, contemplating, assessing. I want to consider what my values are and how they translate to my actions and reactions. I want to see if I can find a way to align them better, to feel as though I'm living in a way that feels like a good fit. I have no intention of signing off of social media as a result - absolutely not. But maybe I'll find myself choosing my times more wisely.<br />
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I want to be perfectly clear here that I'm not making a judgement call about when anyone else uses their phone or checks in with social media around their children. I'm the last person to suggest I know what's right/best/good/bad. I just know how I feel about my own life and this is where I'm at right now!<br />
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So I'll be off contemplating this week ... digging to work out what my values are and how they can lead me to a more mindful life.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-66007362279674725862013-11-10T18:02:00.000-08:002013-11-10T18:02:03.299-08:00Week 45 Update: Passion, Inspiration, Perspiration.Last week I set out to follow my passion for writing by doing it every day. Every single day, whether it was fun and inspired or not. Outside of my 52 Weeks of Now challenge, I signed up for NaNoWriMo which basically has me set up to write 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November. No small feat - one I didn't think I had the time or inspiration for, and one I am determined to see through.<br />
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The thing I discovered this weeks is this: Following your passion isn't always easy. It isn't constantly fuelled by passionate inspiration, it doesn't necessarily come with a warm and fuzzy hug of encouragement ... But, it is totally worth it. Despite the fact that it's been hard, following my passion has given me a new appreciation of what I'm capable of, what I can achieve when I am determined.<br />
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It's terribly easy for me to say "I'll never be a real writer" or that "I don't have time to write as much as I'd like" or "I'm just not good enough". It's harder to hear those things in my head and then say "stuff it" and push through the fear and frustration anyway. I've actually had more energy, more drive, more motivation for <i>everything </i>- not just writing - this past week than I have in a long time. Maybe this is because when I write I tend to be mindful - absorbed in the words springing from my fingertips, delicately weaving other lives and worlds on the page. Or maybe it's because I feel more fulfilled. Or perhaps it's because I'm following my calling. In the end, it doesn't matter. Following your passion is worth it. Full stop. Nothing more to say.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-65570224042524841152013-11-03T12:16:00.000-08:002013-11-03T12:16:38.880-08:00Week 45: Passion. Ignite It, Follow It.I did something a little crazy on the weekend. I signed up for NaNoWriMo: National Novel Writing Month. During the month of November, thousands of writers from around the world knuckle down to write a 50,000 word novel. Yep, 50,000.<br />
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I've wanted to participate in NaNoWriMo for a while now, but it never seemed like the right time. I mean, who has time to write a novel in a month? Then, on Saturday, I decided on a whim to give it a go. What was I thinking? I don't think it was. I didn't even have a clear idea about what I'd write. Still, when I commit to something I don't like to give up too easily, so I'm giving it a crack.<br />
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Why? Because I love to write. Because it's a passion and one worth following. Because when I write I feel alive (and also sometimes immensely frustrated, stupid, inadequate...). I've always wanted to make writing a bigger part of my life, to somehow build it into a career. So, what better way to ignite and fuel my passion than by aiming to write over 1,600 words a day?!<br />
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I wrote a couple of weeks ago, in my Arty Farty challenge, about the idea of flow. When I write, sometimes, I get the incredible blessing of being in flow. I am in my story, in my words. I am in the moment.<br />
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This week's challenge, then: to follow my passion for writing. To commit myself to writing every darn day, even when it's hard. Because by following my passion, I'm being mindful, present and kind to myself.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-68122077830568965692013-11-02T20:27:00.000-07:002013-11-02T20:27:12.185-07:00Week 44 Update: Pen to Paper, Truth Be Told.A week of journal keeping, a week of being confronted by the utter 'bareness' of this process. I know the diary is for my eyes only, but still, it seems so revealing to commit my thoughts and feelings to paper. I mean, what if I reveal to myself that I'm actually different to what I thought? Or I come up with an idea that I have no choice but to follow? Or if I open a can of worms that threatens to wind itself into a great big worm ball?<br />
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Ok, so that opening paragraph is dramatic, and perhaps belies what actually fell between the pages of my journal this week. It wasn't anything earth shattering, as this entry attests to:<br />
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<i>Friday 1 November 2013<br />Golly gee wizz that came up fast.<br />So, so tired tonight, I don't think I can stay to write. Bed is calling.</i></blockquote>
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Hardly anything, right? Right. (And yes, I really did use the words Golly, Gee and Wizz. I am that daggy). Still, the process of journaling and what it represents feels to me earth shattering. All those thoughts that clog up my mind have an opportunity to be immortalised on the page, to find their truth in ink. It's commitment of a sort and commitment is scary.<br />
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The entry I've shared above was my shortest throughout the week, and the least revealing. I did write about other stuff, including pondering 'where to' after my '52 Weeks of Now' journey comes to a close. I also admitted to myself that I regularly try to keep too many balls up in the air; wrote about my love of yoga teaching; and, wrote about the fun my son and I got up to during the week.<br />
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What this challenge pushed me to do was consider the jumble of thoughts in my mind and lay them out. Not all of them and not always in a way that gave me answers, but in a way that allowed me to become aware of them - not ignore them or push them away. It was an excellent practice of mindfulness, even if it was confronting.<br />
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I don't know if I'll keep the practice up. Probably not every day. I hesitate to suggest I 'should' do anything (I don't like that word at all), but I do think this would be 'good' for me. Maybe a weekly journal is the way to go. Something that gives me an outlet. A sorting process of sorts. Yes, I could do with that.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-48502822992917793982013-10-27T18:03:00.002-07:002013-10-27T18:03:58.337-07:00Week 44: Dear Diary.I've written diaries, or journals, before. Sometimes I've gone back and read the things I wrote years ago and I'm surprised by the girl I find between the pages. We forget, it seems, the trials and even joys we've had in the past. The intensity of emotion that once seemed so poignant and maybe even irreparable fades, though it's impression is left on the pages.<br />
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While I've kept journals in the past, I've never been very consistent with it. While I was pregnant with my son I kept one and vowed to myself that I'd keep it going. A brief dip into its pages reveals my last entry on Wednesday 17 October 2012 - over a year ago.<br />
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Still, whether I've been consistent with it or not, my experience has been that journal writing is an exercise in mindfulness. It allows us to download our private thoughts onto the page; to dig within ourselves to uncover what's beneath the surface. Sometimes it's surprising what comes up, other times it seems intensely bland.<br />
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I find it funny that as a writer I find keeping a journal difficult. Surely my passion for the written word should be enough to compel me to write every day - if for no other reason than to offer myself an outlet for my anxieties, hopes and dreams. Writing can offer clarity to otherwise murky thoughts that become stagnant in the mind. It can bring to the fore things that we didn't know were there or allow us to see the ordinary in new and extraordinary ways.<br />
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For all of these reasons and more, my challenge this week is to journal every day. Why do I feel vaguely anxious at the thought of it? I'm not entirely sure, though it will be interesting to see what lays between the pages of my journal come week-end.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-91303853351320234802013-10-26T21:33:00.000-07:002013-10-26T21:33:24.338-07:00Week 43 Update: Remembering to Ground.For whatever reason, I found this week's challenge harder than I thought. Grounding - using the earth to support me - is something I thought I'd find reasonably easy. It's not something that's foreign to me - I practice it all the time on my yoga mat. Still, this week, my tendency has been to attempt levitation ... shoulders up around my ears, breath higher than it should be in my chest, muscles working to lift me up when all I want to do is surrender my weight down.<br />
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I'm not even sure why this has been so difficult. Perhaps it's the challenges I've faced in encouraging my son down for his sleeps, or the physical discomfort I've felt as my expanding belly expands even further (no doubt about it - that baby is a growin'!). Maybe the reason doesn't matter and maybe I'll never really know; but the truth is that even though it wasn't easy, even though I didn't find myself 'grounding' as frequently as I may have liked, the times I did 'succeed' (for want of a better term), it felt great.<br />
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I spoke a bit about this idea of grounding in my yoga classes this week. It's true that grounding can be a place of relative vulnerability - think of the way we 'expose' ourselves in a pose like Shavasana (lying down for final relaxation is what most of us know this as). When we ground, we surrender. And that can be scary. After all, we rather enjoy this illusion of control we maintain for ourselves. You can take a moment now to notice how easy or difficult you find it to surrender to your seat. Can you let the bits of your body that contact the floor (or chair, or earth, or bed or whatever it is you're in contact with) soften? What does it feel like to surrender, while at the same time maintaining a posture that is open, solid and fluid?<br />
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I remember someone repeating a quote to me once about having to surrender to get results. I don't know who said it or what quote they were referring to, but it struck me as rather profound. It can be so true: sometimes all the pushing in the world doesn't get us to where we want to go (though maybe sometimes it does). Sometimes we have to let go before we can go forward.<br />
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Enough rambling from me for now. Time to surrender with a cuppa for few minutes.Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-21695064445811388562013-10-21T16:56:00.002-07:002013-10-21T16:56:46.832-07:00Week 43: Grounding..We spend a lot of time holding ourselves up - propping ourselves as though we are alone in our efforts to stay upright. It's understandable - life has a way of knocking us sideways again and again. We're protective because we don't want to get hurt; because we want to look after ourselves. We don't need any help and we don't need any support. We're all we need.<br />
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Um ... nope. Not a good plan.<br />
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I think we all know what this feeling of 'propping' is like - you'll sense it in your shoulders as they creep up towards your ears, as you struggle to relax your body into your seat or bed, as you find your breath sitting high up in your chest when you breathe - and it isn't all that nice. To me, it seems a very forward-thinking type of approach, and not in an entrepreneurial way. It's very much a forgetting-the-present-moment stance. When we 'prop' and protect, we're getting a jump on all the 'could's' in our future, not necessarily responding to what's happening in the moment.<br />
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What's the alternative? Grounding: Using our connection with the earth or whatever it is we're in contact with physically to support us. What this <i>doesn't</i> mean is collapsing into the earth or falling flat. It's not a giving up or a sign of weakness. Grounding allows us to give our weight to the earth in a way that is supportive and allows us to move and be more freely.<br />
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That connection between the body and the earth is so present - it's real, it's happening - so it's a perfect anchor to <i>now</i>.<br />
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If you want to get a better idea of what this feels like, stand up for a moment and try this:<br />
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First, stand with your feet hip-width apart and engage as many muscles in your body as you can. As you press down through your feet, feel your knee caps lift as your thighs engage. Your buttocks will clench, your belly will draw back towards your spine. Feel your chest lifting towards the ceiling, as well as your shoulders and head. You'll likely find that your breath is sitting very high in your chest, if you're breathing at all.</blockquote>
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Next, do the opposite of the first step. Let everything go. Bend your knees a bit, round through your back and shoulders. Feel as though your posture is giving into gravity. Notice how this feels.</blockquote>
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Finally, try to find the middle ground between these two extremes. Use your contact with the earth through your feet to ground. Feel the strength you get from giving your weight down and the way this rebounds through your entire body, creating lightness and ease. Notice your breath, how you feel. Hopefully it feels great!</blockquote>
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This week, this will be my practice. When I find myself frazzled, frustrated, less-than-mindful, I'm going to come back to the earth - noticing the contact points I have, using them to ground me and help me to stay present. I can do this in any position - wherever I am, whatever I'm doing - simply noticing and grounding.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-4980991209917872302013-10-21T16:34:00.002-07:002013-10-21T16:34:53.372-07:00Week 42 Update: An Art Escape.Getting Arty Farty was fantastic. I spent my week (amongst the ordinary daily activities) getting my creative on. I sewed some new curtains for my son's room (a surprising success!), drew some simple pictures for his wall, moulded play dough and coloured with crayons. It was fun.<br />
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It made me realise something significant - I have to create. Whether it be big or small, creating something from nothing makes me feel good. It grounds me, pulls me out of my head and brings me a huge amount of pleasure. So I suppose there'll be more sewing, drawing and all things arty farty in my future.<br />
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I think the main thing I learnt this week is that letting go of the outcome is so important. When I get arty/crafty, it should be about the process of creating, not about aiming to finish with a masterpiece.<br />
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I love watching other people create, too. When you get a chance to watch someone so deeply entrenched in what they're doing - whether it be painting a picture, planting in the garden, playing a musical instrument - you can't help but be impacted by their state. That state of 'flow' - of being so absorbed in what you're doing that everything else seems to melt away. That is some powerful mindfulness. Being creative can take us there.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-54820239929415105932013-10-13T19:04:00.000-07:002013-10-13T19:04:24.345-07:00Week 42: Arty Farty.I like to be creative. Writing, drawing, doing crafts, dancing like no one's watching.<br />
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It doesn't mean I'm always good at it. Which can be a 'problem' because it stops me from doing it more often. Fear seems to be the block that stands in the way of so much we would like to do but don't. "I won't be good enough", "I can't do it", "It looks awful" ... these are the things we say to ourselves - to convince ourselves that there's no point in trying. I disagree. There is a point in trying. Actually, scratch that. There is a point in not trying but doing it anyway. Doing it simply because there's pleasure to be had in the process.<br />
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Sometimes, when we do something we love, just because we love it, we become so involved and immersed in it that everything else seems to drop away. This is a phenomenon known as 'flow'. Have you ever felt it? It can come on when we do anything, really. From cooking to surfing or running or anything in between or beyond. It is absolute mindfulness. It is divine.<br />
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This week, I may not come into contact with flow, but I will absolutely come into contact with my creativity. This week I'm going to get arty farty. I'm whipping out the pencils, crayons, arts and crafts. I'm going to do it simply because it's fun, not because I want to create a masterpiece. Flow, my friend, please feel free to descend upon me. But even if you don't, in those moments while I'm creating, I intend to forget about the dishes and the washing and the tax return that still needs to be completed. I'll be too busy getting my arty farty on.<br />
<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-15591818270265919222013-10-13T18:54:00.001-07:002013-10-13T18:54:15.712-07:00Week 41 Update: Driving Without Distraction ...This past week was the first week in a long, long time, that I didn't make or take phone calls while driving. I've long found that time on the road to be ideal for catching up on missed calls and long overdue contacts. Likewise, it was the first time in ages that I've not checked my phone at a red light - you know, just in case I'd missed something since the last red light.<br />
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The thing is, I don't really want to talk on the phone or check for messages at red lights. I find it a bit stressful. Another instance of trying to do too much at once. You might ask: "Why did you do it, then?". Indeed. I guess because, just like everyone else, time feels as though it's flying by. There's a lot to be done in a day, and seemingly not enough time to do it in ...<br />
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This week, when I put the phone away, turned off Bluetooth and just drove, it was a bit of a relief. No phone calls. No 'giving in' to that incessant urge to check the phone. No distractions.<br />
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Hang on ... About that last point. That's not quite right. No distractions? Hardly the case, unfortunately.<br />
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The truth is, despite the phone being out of the picture, there were still plenty of opportunities for distraction. My 18 month old son in the backseat for a start. But then there were my thoughts. Of what to make for dinner. What challenge to set myself next for this blog. What I might teach in yoga during the week. The meaning of life. My noisy, noisy mind set out to derail me at every opportunity. Oddly enough, I find this to be moreso when I'm pregnant (as I am now). Why, I'm not so sure. But it seems to be so.<br />
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Well then, what to do? I think putting the phone away is a good start. As for my mind, I think I'll have to keep on that one: focusing my attention away from those incessant thoughts and back onto the task at hand - driving.<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7494343721236398937.post-19055945013871033552013-10-06T18:13:00.001-07:002013-10-06T18:13:04.388-07:00Week 41: Drive Time.I know I'm not the only one guilty of using time in the car driving as 'down' time. It seems like a great opportunity to catch up on phone calls because, all of a sudden, we're not busy. Hmm... there's something wrong with that logic. We are busy. Very busy in fact. Busy driving. Busy keeping ourselves and those around us safe from the damage that can come from distraction on the road.<br />
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Sometimes I shock myself by how easily I will make a call (hands free of course) while driving. I'll even check my messages at a red light. But every time I do that, my mind shifts from what it should be doing - driving. And even though I might think I can do both things at once - talk and drive or check a text and then let it go until I have a chance to deal with it later - the truth is that my attention has been diverted and confused. I'm not as present as I could be (to either thing).<br />
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Just because I've been driving for over a decade doesn't mean I'm immune to making stupid decisions, not seeing an oncoming vehicle or a red light. I'm no superwoman. I'm not shielded from danger by some invisible energy field. When I look into the rear view mirror I'm reminded that it's not only my own safety I'm in charge of - it's that of my son in the back seat (and, now, the baby in my belly), too.<br />
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So, this week, I'm turning off my Bluetooth, I'm putting my phone out of sight, and I'm focusing on driving.<br />
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In the words of my son: "Beep, Beep!".<br />
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01566087847648912300noreply@blogger.com2