Friday, 12 April 2013

Week 15 Update: I am worth it after all.

This week has been good. Very, very good. Not just because I've taken the time to have a cuppa and read a book in the afternoon, or because I have done yoga instead of the dishes. It's been very, very good because I've had a shift in the way I think.

Before, I felt - dare I say it?! - resentful of the things I had to do. Not all of the time (on the whole I really love being a stay at home mum!), but it has often been there, lurking in the back of my mind as I dipped my peeling hands into a sink full of hot, soapy water for the umpteenth time. I feel vaguely ashamed to admit that I wanted to blame someone or something else for the fact that I never got any 'me' time. But the fact is, I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I make my own decisions; I choose whether the housework or a lie down on the couch takes priority. Figuring this out felt like an epiphany!

This week I found myself pausing and asking myself a simple question: what would give you more life now - the dishes/washing/cleaning/etc or a rest/yoga/book/cuppa/etc. Then I did whatever felt right. Incredibly enough, sometimes I actually chose the 'chores', but I did so from a very conscious place, and that made all the difference. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but the pressure of housework loosened dramatically and when I did get to the washing and all that, it seemed far more pleasurable than I thought possible!

Heading into this week of 'ME' felt a little selfish. Could I really put my needs ahead of the housework? (even typing that seems utterly ridiculous, but, hey, that's how we talk to ourselves!). I'm pleased to report that I am worth it after all.

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