Sunday, 11 August 2013

Week 33: I Need Help.

I'm not very good at asking for help. Or accepting it when it's offered.

I'm more of a 'I can handle it' kind of girl.

Still, there are days when I stand at the kitchen sink, wishing and willing that my husband will offer to help. Sometimes I'll suggestively demonstrate my frustration at having to hang another load of washing before bed hoping that he'll step in and do it instead. Where does this get me? Very quickly into a place of frustration and resentment. Not the best place to be. Why can't I just ask for what I want (namely, help)?

Recently, my family was struck down with the inevitable winter lurgy. First my husband, then my son. I looked after them both, went about my days tending to their needs and doing what I could. Then I got sick and it started to fall apart at the seams. The housework, my homework and my wish list of things to complete started to pile up. It was time to ask for help. So I did. It was actually really hard ... Why is that? Why do we find it so incredibly difficult to admit that we cannot be super-women and men? Why do we glorify the multi-tasking, no-rest-til-it's-over, I cannot sit down mindset that so many of us operate under? It's not only harmful to our health, it's not very much fun.

As I found myself still feeling a bit so-so this past weekend, I said 'forget it' to this weird sense of pride that accompanies the super-woman side of me and asked for help. Repeatedly. I asked for help with all sorts of things - the washing, the dishes, going back upstairs for that jumper or book or whatever I had left behind. I asked my husband to cook, I asked my mum for a hand with an appointment. I asked for help. Wow.

So, this week I'm going to keep going. I'm going to take the time to recognise that I cannot and should not be a superwoman. This exercise in mindfulness will help me to accept that help is a good thing, not a sign of weakness. It will help me to not only notice when I can't do something alone, but to follow through on that and ask for help. Because, let's face it, we all need help sometimes and the best way to get it is to ask.

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